Suddenly Last Summer, 1959
Bio: Sebastian never makes an actual appearance in Suddenly, Last Summer-adapted from the play by big gay Tennesee Williams-but, like a good fag, the whole thing revolves around him anyway. (We’re at our most appealing when we’re being cold and distant.) He was a poet and gardener worshipped by his mother who, when the film begins, is enlisting a lobotomist (Montgomery Clift) to silence his fag hag for trying to out him posthumously.
Gay Signifiers: Sebastina was a poet whose best friends were his mother and cousin Elizabeth Taylor. He built a whole garden full of carnivorous plants and succulants in a “Garden of Eden” motif. And he dressed in white linen. Unless you’re Barry Diller, it doesn’t get much gayer.
Gay-ish Quotes: Well, his character’s dead, so we only here from him through his mother (Katherine Hepburn) and his hag (Elizabeth Taylor). But he was prone to over-dramatic statements and Taylor quotes him as saying, in reference to boys on the beach “That one’s appetizin’ ” and “That one’s NOT appetizin’.” Even though you never see him, you just know he had an ascot, drank gin and masturbated to Gide.
Sisters in Crime: Peter Lorre in The Maltese Falcon, Andy Warhol, Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct
Was He Handsome? Unclear. He was getting older before he was beaten to death by a crowd of poor Spaniards, so we’re imagining a forty-something George Hamilton. Then again, he had to use his mother and Liz to attract men, so maybe it was more like a forty-something Barry Diller.
Would We Have Fucked Him? Is the Pope Catholic? He was rich, snotty and wore white linen on trips to Southern Europe. Even if the hateful queen wasn’t handsome, he’d at least be clean. Plus we’re pretty sure he’d hire us escorts when we he was too drunk to get it up (frequently, we suspect). Would we be able to listen to his endless poetic musings? Probably not, but we’d gladly ditch him to hang out with Elizabeth Taylor.
Montgomery Clift interrogates an “Insane” Elizabeth Taylor about Sebastian’s last days:
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Montgomery Clift
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Freddie Mercury
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Rock Hudson
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Paul Lynde
Mom Thought He Was Straight?: Liberace
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